Therapy can help enormously with attachment disorders, although it’s not a quick or easy fix. It’s essential to find a therapist who’s knowledgeable about attachment disorders and with whom you feel comfortable. Much of the work will be between you and the therapist — dealing with feelings that arise in you over the course of your work together. In a nutshell, your job with the therapist is to work through the issues that arise as you try to attach to them.

People experience attachment problems in a variety of different ways, depending on the nature of the early experiences that interrupted the normal attachment bond. They may experience the therapist as not being there, not caring, caring too much, trying to hurt them, pulling away from them, being disgusted with them, etc. Likewise, the client may feel disinterested and bored, empty, panicky, depressed, sexually attracted to the therapist, in love with the therapist, hatred of the therapist, rage toward the therapist, etc. There’s no right or wrong set of feelings because each will reflect, in some way, the client’s earliest experiences — the things that prevented a secure attachment. The important thing is that the client be allowed to explore whatever feelings arise in a safe and stable environment.