The term parentified child applies to situations where a parent is unable to care for themselves emotionally and/or physically and instead of getting help from a spouse or other peers, they do a kind of role reversal with one or more of their children. Sometimes the role reversal is obvious such as situations where a parent drinks, does drugs or is absent and the child has to prepare meals and perform other routine types of household tasks.

Often, however, parentification is much more subtle. Many mothers who suffer from a poor sense of self-worth unwittingly use their children to help give them a sense of purpose in life. The child becomes, in a sense, an extension of the mother, having to make sure that the mother feels good about herself at all costs. This can involve subtle but powerful pressure to do well in school, to go out for certain sports or other activities the mother values, etc. In such cases, the child has to deny their own needs and feelings because all energy must be focused on what the parent needs. One of the first goals of working with adults who were parentified as children is to help them get in touch with who they are, what they need and feel and to learn that their needs and feelings are OK.